Final thoughts on this whole kerfuffle.

I’ve said my piece about my personal life and that holds true. I have zero interest in ever discussing my sex or love life publicly on other people’s terms. If you want answers about the particulars of a game developer’s private romantic entanglements, please ask yourself why you feel entitled to such a thing. As far as I’m concerned, the only people who have any business in knowing these things are the people they actually effect - and my current partner is aware.

Professionally, I feel like there are some things I can easily address though, now that things have begun to calm down.

Regarding the claim that I have exchanged sex for positive reviews. This has been investigated and debunked, and oh right, the review in question doesn’t even exist. Anything else written by Nathan in 2014, before we started dating, in which I am vaguely, tangentially mentioned at all has been the same tone and coverage as everyone else who covered it. There is no corruption issue here - if there was, you’d think there’d be some talk of massive AAA companies flying out and wining and dining games journalists rather than discussion of Phil Fish’s relationships. (warning: all of these links are screenshots and there’s a small sampling of the smorgasbord of fucked up shit in them) It’s almost like this whole scandal only blew up for reasons other than "corruption".

Regarding the claim that I doxxed and destroyed The Fine Young Capitalists, that is also incorrect. You can read that here in their own words. I know that when things kick up online it can be hard to sort out who did what, but aside from their own statement, there is zero evidence of this. What I did do was be critical of some of their policies on twitter, because as someone who has taught women game design and created programs to help them get started making their first games I get really passionate about this stuff. We have different approaches but share the same wish to get women involved with game development, and I wish them the best of luck in accomplishing that. Rebel Jam is not one of these programs and was totally unrelated to anything having to do with TFYC and came as a reaction to everything that was wrong about Game_Jam - but I will have some really exciting things to announce soon about it that I’ve been holding in for a while until paperwork clears and red tape is cut. Stay tuned.

Regarding the claim that I am the head of a massive conspiracy that is able to censor and shut down all major games press sites, 4chan, reddit, and god knows what else, I WISH that was true. God how cool would that be? A shadowy overlord of the internet, who is also kind of a cyborg? Shit that would be a good story. But that’s all it is - a story. Occam’s razor is still a thing. What is more likely, the pulp story of a lone woman manipulating the entire internet or that maybe, JUST MAYBE, other people can recognize this for the TMZ style bullshit it really is?

If you have any further concerns about what I stand for or if my role in the industry has been one for the betterment of other people, despite releasing a game pushing back against the stigma of mental illness for free on the biggest digital distribution platform, creating guides and programs to make game development more accessible to people of traditionally discouraged backgrounds, standing up for the image of future of indie games even at risk of getting sued back into the stone age, fighting for a better games culture where developers don’t have to fear consumers, experimenting with new formats of distributing free games, helping organize queer-friendly game jams; then I encourage you to watch me in the coming months. I am going to continue trying to break down barriers and disrupt the culture that enabled the abuse I’ve endured from the last two weeks from ever happening to anyone ever again. No more Phil Fishes. No more Anita Sarkeesians. No more Zoe Quinns. No more of the less known, less extreme cases where we don’t even notice or hear the voices disappearing. No more developers living in fear, afraid to speak their minds, afraid to be people, wondering when they might be next. This has always been my MO, this will continue to be so. I am going to keep doing what I do, I’m going to keep being a human with all the flaws and moments of brilliance that come with that, and hopefully I can work towards these goals with some level of effectiveness.

Time to get back to work. I love you all.