I’ve been awake for about an hour and in checking my messages been called a feminazi, accused of somehow using depressed people to further some unnamed goals (because I clearly cannot be a depression sufferer myself), had a bunch of generic hateful messages calling me a liar about ever receiving hateful messages (lol), been given pretty violent porn with my face pasted onto the girl’s face, and someone linked me to a 4chan thread about how much of a monster I am that I’m not going to click on because I’ve already read it probably. Oh, and a groupon. That’s everything so far this morning. This is actually the question in my ask box sitting directly above yours while I answer this though:
This is a little higher than an average day but not by much. I just don’t talk about the specifics of it on any given day. Even during the worst of it I only posted 2 caps because I didn’t see the point then in signal boosting people’s filth. 2 screenshots was enough - but that doesn’t mean that’s all there was by far. Saving and holding onto all these would be a waste of time and tiring and I’d basically be a librarian that has a library full of books that just barf and piss and shit as soon as you open them and I don’t know why I’d bother.
I’ve been calling this day-to-day, uncreative, low-level type of shit that’s going on constantly “bullshit background radiation”. It’s always around and I’m so acclimated to it at this point that I barely even notice it.
Though someone did make this pretty enormous sweet quinnspiracy theory imgur thing about me and it’s just so out there I can only be amused: http://imgur.com/a/ApqGM
I will think of some way to spin most of these into jokes later with friends. I fully believe humor is the best thing we have in terms of dealing with surreally shitty situations.
I do get a lot of supportive messages too though. I think that’s really important to add. It helps, and I love those people to death and just need to figure out how to find the time to send them really long thank you letters. Any one of the women I talked to this weekend at PAX that thanked me for not giving up and for talking about my experiences basically wipes away any of these jerks in my mind. Even if the bullshit they spew sucks in the short term, I mostly forget about it - but one person telling me I helped them… I remember that forever and keep it really close to my heart.
But yeah. This is still happening constantly but fuck the police. I know that it’s gonna kick up again when I put DQ on Steam finally, and when my panel with Patrick Klepek goes live too, but I think of it this way. Since there’s a lot of major problems in games and society in large right now that I’m doing my best to kick against, being effective in any capacity is going to really piss people off who are invested in things being the way they currently are. Hopefully this being pissed-off-ness leads to them maybe experiencing some kind of doubt or self reflection or otherwise challenging their own current notions of how things are and how things should be. Discomfort can be the start of something better. I hope they’re productively pissed off and can maybe get past whatever it is that’s making them lash out at others.
I’m just aiming for pissing off the right people.